Black Woman Walking

This could easily have been posted on our Girl Talk blog... But, it's probably more important for our guys to LISTEN to what these women are saying:

Yes, Coach, Sir! Um, M'am!

We're late on this story, but it is just too good to let it pass. This Spring, Calvin Coolidge Senior High School in Washington D.C. hired a new head varsity football coach. Why is this news? She is a woman!

Natalie Randolph is a former professional football player and a current science teacher at the school. And, the hire is quite a statement. While it is unclear how many women have been head coaches of boys varsity football teams nationally, there is little doubt that the move is extremely significant - some are calling it historic.

Our Girls Project was fortunate enough to work with members of a women's professional football team, the Sharks. The girls were very inspired by the players' stories and resolve. Hopefully, the boys Natalie Randolph coaches will feel the same way... Congratulations to Coach Randolph and, best of luck on the upcoming season!

A Losing Battle

The race against the damaging effects of social networking sites continues to get tougher. Parents, teachers, youth advocates, and policy makers are all banging their heads against the wall about what to do with all of the unregulated, online chatter. The latest site receiving some attention? Formspring.

Through Formspring, users can send anonymous comments and questions for others to answer. Questions can be innocent ("What's your favorite color?"), investigative ("Do you like guys with red hair?"), or even invasive ("What size bra do you wear?"). The comments, however, can be much more sinister. Users, mostly kids, are often sending mean-spirited messages that are sometimes nothing short of cyberbullying.

What is most confounding about the site and process is that each user must accept the comment in order for it to become public and posted to their wall. In other words, if you are seeing a negative comment on someone's wall, it's because he/she posted it there! If your own kids are allowing negative posts about them to be public, how can we fight the damaging blows to their self-esteem?

As with so many issues kids are facing today, there is no one solution to this epidemic. As covered in this article, there are numerous sites that offer people a chance to post anonymously to others' pages (such as Tumblr or Honesty Box, a Facebook add-on). And, trying to regulate these sites or restrict their usage is a losing battle. Kids will find ways to log in, new options will pop up, and parents will be left scratching their heads.

We are not going to win the battle against the internet. What we have to do is continue to arm our kids with the tools to make informed decisions - both about what they read and believe, as well as what they write. Help them understand that the anonymity of the web allows people to hide behind comments they may not even believe as they are typing them. And, we need to build up their confidence so the negative comments don't lead to negative outcomes. Every ugly post doesn't have to hurt so much...

That's the hope, at least...

Run Before You Walk

On Saturday, May 1st, The Girls & Boys Projects directors Jule Jo Ramirez and Javaid Khan conducted a workshop at PS 57 in East Harlem. The event - the first of its kind - was a Young Runners Clinic organized by the New York Road Runners. It integrated the topic of running with healthy eating, puberty, and lifestyle choices.

The boys worked directly with Javaid and set the tone for the workshop right out of the starting gate. During the introductory exercise of telling the group your name and one thing about you no one in the room knows, a young Dominican boy from the Bronx (name changed here) opened with, "My name is Luis. And, my Dad is in prison." His honesty immediately changed the dynamic of a bunch of 12 year-old boys, mostly strangers to one another, in a new setting, talking about an awkward topic: puberty.

The boys had a ton of questions and comments, myths and confusions, and also a lot of information. Together, the group navigated toward correct answers and addressed misinformation. Some of the questions/comments that stood out:

Why do your armpits smell?

• Why do we grow hair in our parts?
• How do you know when a girl likes you?
• How do you make your penis bigger? Because, my friend told me that when you put on a condom, it gets bigger.
• Can you get an erection when you run?
• Can you not go through puberty?

Needless to say, there was a lot of work to do that day... It is great that the Road Runners recognized the importance of giving kids correct information in order to make healthy choices in life!

From The "You Can't Be Serious" Department

Comes this story about a new game kids are playing. The type of game that anyone over the age of 22 has to scratch his head and wonder, "Am I just old? Because this makes no sense..."

The recent death by suffocation of an 11 year-old in Nebraska has brought light to a game kids are playing for the rush they get - a choking game. As quoted in an AOL News piece, "The purpose is when you have restricted oxygen and blood flow to your brain, you get a euphoric rush." Some are trying it solo, others in groups. And, as is clearly evident, kids are dying from it.

In The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell writes about the bizarre epidemic of suicide in Micronesia in the 70's and 80's. He discusses how an idea can become contagious, like a virus. It appears that games like these are having a similar effect.

Every now and then, we learn about something new that kids are trying for the thrill - mixing over the counter medicines, sniffing glue, playing in traffic or on train tracks. But, what parent ever imagines having to have the "Don't choke yourself" talk?

Some ideas (like the one in the picture above) just don't seem to need a discussion. Let's just hope this choking game doesn't 'tip' . . .

Boys Lose!

We've followed the statistics relating to Black males on Boy Talk Online, but Nicholas D. Kristof of The New York Times shows us in his latest opinion piece that the problem is not relegated to Black makes. In "The Boys Have Fallen Behind," Kristof cites statistics from a newly published study that illustrate the chasm forming between girls and boys in education. And, it's not unique to America...

One such statistic gives a clear example of what boys are facing in school:

• Boys are twice as likely to get suspended as girls, and three times as likely to be expelled. Estimates of dropouts vary, but it seems that about one-quarter more boys drop out than girls.

It seems like now is the right time to accelerate the dialogue on what boys need from school that they are not getting. We've always known there were differences between boys and girls, but have we made adjustments to our educational systems? It may be time to start...


Note: The piece also introduces us to the site: guysread.com - a website devoted to generating book options for boys. At a recent panel discussion, an exasperated mother asked of the panel, "How do I get my son to read?" This site is a great starting point...

Is It Really That Simple?

It appears the video has been made private. If it opens up again, we'll repost!

Yeah, probably... Too pure to not share.

An Uphill Battle

On Tuesday, March 2 Teach For America hosted a panel discussion entitled, "Men of Color & Education: A Discussion on the Pursuit of Excellence." The conversation was centered around Black and Latino boys and the challenges they face in our school system. The star-studded panel included rapper Common, singer John Legend, former NBA player Eric Snow, Bronx Borough President Rueben Diaz, Jr., and professors Dr. Pedro Noguera and Dr. Marc Lamont Hill. The event was moderated by David C. Banks, founder and president of the Eagle Academy Foundation.

      

Each panelist brought something different to the table. Whether it was his experience as a teacher, father, mentor, researcher, musician, etc. each voice was unique. Dr. Noguera, Dr. Hill, and Mr. Diaz offered a number of eye-opening statistics including:

• Stuyvesant High School (one of the city's specialized high schools) accepted SIX Black boys this year.
• At Bronx High School of Science, only 5% of its students are actually from the Bronx.
• Last year, more money was spent on surveillance equipment for schools than for similar equipment in prisons.
• Indicators among 3rd and 4th grade Black and Latino boys (dropouts, suspensions, expulsions, failings) can forecast for state officials just how many prison spaces they will need when these boys are of age.

There were many more statistics and opinions offered, but these were particularly glaring. So, the question remained: What do we do? And, the answers came in many forms, offering different perspectives and solutions. We heard about eliminating failing schools, having one great teacher in every room, adding mentors, psychologists and social workers, scrapping No Child Left Behind as a failed program and starting over, holding our representatives responsible, increase parent involvement, and the list goes on.

These concepts have been debated - and, will continue to be debated - for quite some time. But, it was really moving to hear not only the pros and cons of making these changes, but also the passion with which these men wanted to see that change through. Some spoke more of institutional or systematic changes in government, others debated the efficacy of charter schools vs. public, and others spoke about the need to rejuvenate "the village" and love our kids better.

What was most clear is that there is no one answer. The problem needs to be addressed from all angles. Better teachers. Better schools. Better curriculum. Better policies. Question what privatizing prisons - i.e. making prisons profitable - means to those groups disproportionately populating them. Question why certain new schools are able to take kids from the same pool and make them succeed. Question everything... but, DO something.


Overall, the panel was a great success. If done in the future, they might wish to reduce the size of the panel as some voices overshadowed others, but there isn't too much else to change. And, definitely bring Mr. Banks back as moderator... Kudos to Jemina Bernard and all of the TFA team that made the event possible!

Highlight: During the audience open-mic portion, a 5th grader from Brooklyn stepped up to the mic and asked the panel, "We've been to the assemblies and heard all of the talks, but I still get bullied. How do we stop bullying in our schools?" (He received a huge applause for being the only audience member to be able to succinctly ask a question!) We've reached out to his principal immediately...

A Japanese Heart

As a sports fan, the hopeful outcome of this story about Scott Fujita is to effect change - not just in the world, in general, but more immediately in the world of sports.

Scott Fujita is a linebacker for the New Orleans Saints of the NFL and will be playing in the Super Bowl this weekend. His life story is compelling, but it is his decision to take a public stance on a divisive social/political topic that has brought him to us today. Fujita is showing his full support for gay rights - specifically, gay marriage.

That an athlete has chosen to take a stance on a controversial topic is not huge news. That he is a professional athlete is. Many of our most famous athletes are constantly criticized for not taking political stances. Their fear is that they will lose support among fans, and more importantly, endorsement money. When approached to endorse a Democratic candidate, Michael Jordan famously declined by saying, "Republicans buy sneakers, too." LeBron James was brought to task when he hesitated to lend his name to a petition against genocide in Darfur. And, legendary NFL running back Jim Brown has been known to speak out on today's athlete and their lack of activism - most recently challenging Tiger Woods.

Scott Fujita doesn't see this decision as courageous. In fact, he doesn't seem to see it as much of a decision at all - just the right thing to do. But, standing alone when others are afraid to join you is indeed courageous.

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar."

- Raymond Lindquist

Let's hope more professional athletes have the courage to let go of what has been familiar for far too long.

What Is That SMELL?!

Grooming has become somewhat of a necessity in young boys - and, no, we can't blame this on the cast of Jersey Shore...

In "Masculinity in a Can," The Times depicts this trend as growing at an alarming rate - not among teens, but among preteens. Boys 10 and 12 years old are spending their (and their parents') money on deodorant, body sprays, and hair care products. And, the biggest product winners appear to be TAG and AXE, whose edgy marketing ads are aimed at the highly sought-after 18-24 demographic. But, in trying to keep up with the trendy older boys, the article asserts, pre-teenage boys have caught on.

The trend seems to be a result of a perfect storm of factors:

• Boys' bodies are changing at that age. With hormones raging and odors emanating, it's when they begin to use deodorant, in general.
• Girls of the same age are maturing at a faster rate. They are influencing the boys of the same age to take matters into their own hands, which means styling your hair and refining your overall presentation.
• Marketing campaigns are being targeted in different arenas, such as video games and youtube, which will invariably reach younger and younger audiences.
• And, it's the perfect age to catch these boys. Between the ages of 10-14, boys are trying to establish their identities. They become conscious of their appearance, their smell, their social group. Given the notion that a small change like applying body spray can dictate how cool or desirable you will be makes the answer simple - get me some product!

The short answer is, of course, peer pressure. Whether it is from older boys, boys of the same age, or girls the influence of the peer group is still the strongest motivating factor. This much has not really changed over the years, except that the message is coming in stronger and faster than ever. A market consultant is quoted in the piece as saying, "The peer pressure is starting from the girls, who are discussing how much someone smells or what they look like, and it’s being recorded in real time by e-mail and texting."

Can you imagine being 11 and having an off day in the body odor department? Except, by the time you leave homeroom, every kid in your grade with a cell phone has gotten an alert that you stink today? It's not hard to see why these companies are making a killing...

(Didn't really need this ad . . . but can you believe that's LL Cool J??)