Toddlers In Tiaras?

Not a problem, until it's your son... Or, is it a problem?

Time Out New York Kids' article profiles three kids - two toddlers and an eight-year old - who prefer to look and dress like their opposite gender. And, for the hip New York moms and dads featured, the parental route to pursue is support vs. confusion. If that's what he wants to wear, if that's what makes him happy, then why fight it?

The article's subtitle is very interesting: "Got a cross-dressing kid? Ease up on the validation, experts say—it may not be what you think." The author's point is that parents of children who like to play cross-dress-up should not rush to judgement in either direction. Historically, parents tried to 'reverse the curse,' fearing that their kids might turn out to be gay, bi, or just confused. But, many modern parents try to go the other route and support - even push - a transgender lifestyle, which according to the article is not guaranteed.

Obviously, there is no one solution. However, the study cited in the article puts the chance at 75% that a child who cross-dresses with eventually identify as homosexual or bisexual. These yearnings and demonstrations by a child may be exactly the identifiers parents are constantly looking for to tell them who their child will eventually be (you know the parents who get excited when their daughter picks up a basketball, or when their son shows an affinity for singing?). At 75%, it's a lot more than a possibility...

The article ends by acknowledging that talking to your child is the most important part of the process. Indeed, these parents may make some mistakes along the way, but as long as their kids know that they are supported, they're on the right path.

"My Man... Fix Your Skirt."

That probably doesn't sound as strange to the current generation of teens as it would to their parents.

It is safe to assume that as with any school rule, dress codes have been challenged since their inception. Girls have fought over skirt length and makeup, boys over blazers and ties. Even The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air wore his blazer inside out and, occasionally, his ties around his head - pushing the letter of the law without breaking it.

But, "Can A Boy Wear A Skirt To School?" brings light to an entirely new set of challenges and questions regarding dress code, gender identity, sexuality, and safety. And, it is clear from where this article gets its information, this is a widespread discussion (the schools range from Florida to California, Ohio to Texas, and everywhere in between).

What's the main issue, you ask? Wish it were that easy. The issues are complex and large in number: the stifling of identity, a lack of tolerance, protection from harassment, harassment, conformity, discouragement of self-expression, the limiting of classroom disruptions, and the list goes on. How do you address the students who want to cross-dress, and the teacher who says the other kids in the class can't concentrate? Or, the case of Lawrence King - a young boy who had something in him telling him to dress a certain way that didn't fit with the norm. He was happy that way. And, yet there was a classmate who had something in him telling him that a boy who dresses that way . . . doesn't deserve to live?

It's probably safe to say that most parents want the same three things for their child at school: to learn, to be safe, to be happy. The question is... in what order?

Hating On Hate

We've all read about hate crimes or seen them on the news. But, watching them - on video or in person - surfaces an entirely different emotional response. It has to.

On October 9, 2009, Jack Price was attacked and brutally beaten near his home in Queens, NY. The video is extremely disturbing. On it, two young men simply pounce on the 49 year-old on a desolate street. They show no regard for his life or their own - barely even pausing as two cars pass them - one at arm's length. Jack Price is currently struggling for his life...

We have an answer to the "why," but it doesn't seem to explain it: Price was apparently targeted because he is gay (his assailants yelled anti-gay hatred at him). He was also robbed, but it's clear from the video that 1. They could have robbed him without the excessive beating, and 2. It was almost an afterthought. No, these guys had venom in their hearts and took it out on someone who did nothing to provoke them.

The thought that these two focused in on Price because of his apparent sexuality forces us to try to understand not only where this hate comes from, but what makes it brew until an explosion like this. Were they bullied as kids? Were they taught that homosexuality is a punishable offense? Are they grappling with sexuality issues of their own? The more we understand about this deep-seated anger, the better chance we have of ridding ourselves of hate crimes.

We shouldn't search for understanding, however, to generate any compassion for these criminals; every word being used seems fitting: deplorable, heinous, despicable, unforgivable. Why we should search for understanding is to prevent the next attack.

Hear The One About The Gay Penguins?

No, really...

Earlier this summer, Z and Vielpunkt hatched a penguin chick in a zoo in Germany. They are both males. And, they aren't the first such pair. In The San Francisco Zoo, Harry and Pepper (pictured below) - together since 2003 - also raised a chick as a same-sex penguin couple.

Both stories provide fascinating insight into the animal kingdom where sexuality and parenting is concerned. What is equally interesting is human reaction to these penguin stories. In Germany, gay rights advocates protested when females were introduced to encourage reproduction. In San Francisco, the couple split when Harry . . . 'went straight' - the apparent undoing by a home-wrecking female - and, those against gay rights used the story as proof of homosexuality's being unnatural.

What was clear in both stories, however, was that none of the other penguins in either colony had a problem with the same-sex couples. Could they have felt that a couple choosing to raise a baby was a good thing, regardless of the circumstance? Wish we knew . . .

A fun story deserves a fun ending. Penguin humor for you:

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. While doing this the clerk spots two penguins sitting on the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"

The man in the car says, "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them but, I haven't a clue."

The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."

"Yeah, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo!"

"Oh, I did," says the driver, "and we had a great time. Today I'm taking them to the beach."

You're My Boy, Blue!

New terms make their way into our lexicon daily.  Some need more explaining than others. In fact, if you have an hour to kill, try explaining "Twitter" to a parent or grandparent... Well, it seems there's a term that has actually been around for quite some time, but is really gaining popularity in recent years - and, definitely has some 'splaining to do: BROMANCE

A bromance or "man-crush" is a close but non-sexual relationship between two men.

Come again?

It turns out that two guys who are really close - watch games together, have a drink, make regular time to hang out - could be involved in a bromance.  "Here's To Bromance" discusses the many nuances of bromances, as well as theories about the term's origins. What's fascinating is that all of the aspects described? Used to be called "best friends."

One is left to wonder how this term will change the way men behave towards each other. Men already have a hard time sharing feelings with other men at the risk of seeming soft, how will they react when others imply that the friendship they have is actually an intimate relationship? It's hard to find anything wrong with these friendships, but will men have the courage to overlook the taunts? To build solid bonds with their boys despite the bromance label?

It's not likely that a similar term will be cast upon women pursuing the same bonds with other women - those are still "BFF" relationships. What's more likely are images like the one seen below. Very funny, but at what cost?