A Losing Battle

The race against the damaging effects of social networking sites continues to get tougher. Parents, teachers, youth advocates, and policy makers are all banging their heads against the wall about what to do with all of the unregulated, online chatter. The latest site receiving some attention? Formspring.

Through Formspring, users can send anonymous comments and questions for others to answer. Questions can be innocent ("What's your favorite color?"), investigative ("Do you like guys with red hair?"), or even invasive ("What size bra do you wear?"). The comments, however, can be much more sinister. Users, mostly kids, are often sending mean-spirited messages that are sometimes nothing short of cyberbullying.

What is most confounding about the site and process is that each user must accept the comment in order for it to become public and posted to their wall. In other words, if you are seeing a negative comment on someone's wall, it's because he/she posted it there! If your own kids are allowing negative posts about them to be public, how can we fight the damaging blows to their self-esteem?

As with so many issues kids are facing today, there is no one solution to this epidemic. As covered in this article, there are numerous sites that offer people a chance to post anonymously to others' pages (such as Tumblr or Honesty Box, a Facebook add-on). And, trying to regulate these sites or restrict their usage is a losing battle. Kids will find ways to log in, new options will pop up, and parents will be left scratching their heads.

We are not going to win the battle against the internet. What we have to do is continue to arm our kids with the tools to make informed decisions - both about what they read and believe, as well as what they write. Help them understand that the anonymity of the web allows people to hide behind comments they may not even believe as they are typing them. And, we need to build up their confidence so the negative comments don't lead to negative outcomes. Every ugly post doesn't have to hurt so much...

That's the hope, at least...

When Facebooking Goes Wrong...

As social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter continue to grow in popularity, more and more related issues are being unearthed: Are we losing human contact and face-to-face interaction? What is appropriate to reveal online? Are we spending too much time updating our statuses?

Schools are restricting access; businesses are researching candidates' online "brands" before hiring; sports teams are enacting rules about what, where, and when you can "social network." Apparently, even our government is cracking down on tweeting...

What is clear, is that there is very little that is clear. When are inappropriate times to use these social networking sites? When is regulation impinging on free speech? How much information is too much to share?

We are very interested to hear what your school or organization's policies are where social networking sites are concerned. Can students be held accountable - by the school - for what they post on these sites? Have you encountered incidents of student bullying or harassment through these sites, even if not on school time? Please feel free to add a comment here or shoot us an email: javaid@gp-bp.org

No matter what the policy, there is one rule we should all learn from this story: If you're going to break into someone's house, don't use their computer to check your Facebook account!

(Or, at least logout...)

Are You Serious?

The opening line catches you right away: "A shocking statistic—teenagers are in more danger from sexual predators at their part time jobs than through the Internet." Seriously?

This piece from PBS (click to view the entire 26-minute segment) reveals a far too underreported trend among teenagers: sexual harassment  in the workplace.

One might wonder why a story like this is on Boy Chat, especially because it chronicles the plights of women in three different businesses.  It's always important to teach employees their rights and to offer victims support services . . . but, how are we addressing the harassers, i.e. (most often) the MEN? Too often, we focus on empowering the victims while neglecting to simultaneously teach the perpetrators to recognize their own inappropriate behaviors.

The line between flirting and harassment is often blurry.  Boys and men alike often need help in identifying when it's been crossed.  But, one practice is pretty safe: Keep your hands to yourself.