Black Woman Walking

This could easily have been posted on our Girl Talk blog... But, it's probably more important for our guys to LISTEN to what these women are saying:

Don't Google Your Name!

It was advice given by a former American Idol contestant to the current cast.  Rihanna may need to take this advice to heart.

The internet reaction to the Rihanna-Chris Brown saga has been alarming . . . and, yet, somewhat predictable. Were Rihanna to read these comments, she might start to believe that this assault was her fault. Young female voices are placing the blame on Rihanna in large numbers - and in no uncertain terms. Yes, they are girls and young women, but they are also fans:

“She probly ran into a door and was too embarrassed so blamed it on chris.” (NYTimes March 18, 2009)

After sitting in on a NYC middle school advisory this week, it is clear that this "siding" [with Chris Brown] is the norm, not the exception. Are we raising a generation of girls that will come to accept violence in relationships as normal? Even worse, are we raising boys who are listening to these girls and thinking, "If they don't have a problem with it..."

The Othello lesson at the end of the article (above) is one approach to addressing this issue. Would love to hear what else is being done out there...

You're My Boy, Blue!

New terms make their way into our lexicon daily.  Some need more explaining than others. In fact, if you have an hour to kill, try explaining "Twitter" to a parent or grandparent... Well, it seems there's a term that has actually been around for quite some time, but is really gaining popularity in recent years - and, definitely has some 'splaining to do: BROMANCE

A bromance or "man-crush" is a close but non-sexual relationship between two men.

Come again?

It turns out that two guys who are really close - watch games together, have a drink, make regular time to hang out - could be involved in a bromance.  "Here's To Bromance" discusses the many nuances of bromances, as well as theories about the term's origins. What's fascinating is that all of the aspects described? Used to be called "best friends."

One is left to wonder how this term will change the way men behave towards each other. Men already have a hard time sharing feelings with other men at the risk of seeming soft, how will they react when others imply that the friendship they have is actually an intimate relationship? It's hard to find anything wrong with these friendships, but will men have the courage to overlook the taunts? To build solid bonds with their boys despite the bromance label?

It's not likely that a similar term will be cast upon women pursuing the same bonds with other women - those are still "BFF" relationships. What's more likely are images like the one seen below. Very funny, but at what cost?

Take A Bow

The one upside to celebrity gossip is when certain issues that normally go undiscussed gain a national spotlight. Be it adoptions from Africa, children with autism, or adults battling addictions we are reminded of many hard realities in our world. Sadly, that is the case with pop stars Rihanna and Chris Brown. Their recent bout with domestic violence surprised many; their reuniting surprised few. But, it allows us the opportunity to highlight a real issue - young people face unhealthy relationships, too.

The statistics are staggering.  Some put the number at 25% of teens and college-aged young adults have experienced physical, emotional, or sexual abuse from their partners, most often boyfriends. The number of those who report knowing someone who has been a victim is much, much higher.

HelpGuide.org is a fantastic resource for warning signs, hotlines, and general information about this alarming trend. The site also has a "Power and Control" graphic on how domestic violence manifests itself:

Although the song discusses infidelity, the lyrics to Rihanna's hit song "Take A Bow" speak volumes:

You look so dumb right now

Standing' outside my house

Trying' to apologize

You're so ugly when you cry

Please, just cut it out

And don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not

Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show

Really had me going

But now it's time to go

Curtain's finally closing

That was quite a show

Very entertaining'

But it's over now (but it's over now)

Go on and take a bow

Wish it were that easy...

Oh, Those Boys Are Much Too Much!

If you haven't seen this, take a few seconds to watch.  The message is: "Take Time To Be A Dad Today" . . . but it's the cheerleading that makes it a must-see! Warning: it might get stuck in your head . . .

The ad is a promotion for the website fatherhood.gov.  Dig around the site a bit, and you'll find some interesting articles, statistics, a fatherhood "Tip Of The Day," and even a countdown to Father's Day.  Personal favorite? "20 Long Distance Activities for Dads at a Distance." Gotta love a good Scavenger Hunt!