Out Of The Darkness

Sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the "Out of the Darkness Community Walks" are designed to raise money and awareness to the issues of depression and suicide. They also assist those who have lost someone close to them to suicide.

Among the facts you can read on their site, AFSP posts that although women attempt suicide three times as much as men, men account for four times as many deaths by suicide. And, looking through the statistics, many of them "make sense;" meaning, one can understand the reasons behind them. For example, although guns are the leading method of suicide in both men and women, men tend to use this more immediate, more fatal option first vs. trying pills or other methods. Women tend to seek help (in this case, a cry for help) more than men. No matter the reason or method, those left behind after suicide must "try to make sense of it."

Last winter, two high-school boys in New York City - one at Packer Collegiate School, one at The Dalton School - took their lives, leaving their communities struggling to find answers. This Sunday, October 18th, a team from Packer is walking to honor their classmate, student, and friend Chris. If you would like more information on how to participate, or wish to monitor or donate to team "Packer Generations" (they've already raised over $11,000!), please visit the site.

So, I'm Gay Now?

- This photo was taken in a toddler playground of a housing project in Brooklyn 

There are a number of problems with this scene. To start, the grammar is off - it should be "sees." And, where's the punctuation? (Who's teaching kids how to write derogatory hate messages these days??) The second problem is the placement - a baby and toddler playground? For whom is this written? And, the most glaring issue is . . . it makes no sense.

Phrases like, "That's so gay" or "You're gay" have simply become all too prevalent. The terms are thrown around without caution, often (as in this case) without an identifiable context. One would think that the overuse of these phrases would lessen their effect; would reduce the pain felt by those on the receiving end because the words are so commonplace.

The truth is that the language still hurts, as evidenced by the recent suicide deaths of young boys who were the victims of homophobic bullying. And, even a message like the one above - intended for no one and everyone - adds to the hurt.

In trying to figure out how to eliminate the language from our lexicon and how to rid ourselves of homophobic bullying, are we also thinking about how to lessen the hurt these words cause? While addressing the taunting, are we also empowering the taunted to get past the attacks?

If only it were as easy as simply seeing that being called gay is not an insult...