Black Woman Walking

This could easily have been posted on our Girl Talk blog... But, it's probably more important for our guys to LISTEN to what these women are saying:

Makes ME Wanna Holler.

Did you ever read Nathan McCall's 1994 book Makes Me Wanna Holler? If so, you might recall a graphic and honest recount of McCall as a young boy participating in an abhorrible act - the gang rape of a young, unsuspecting girl. The section is entitled "Trains" - the nickname given to the act of one boy after another participating in this group rape. And, it makes you sick to your stomach reading it...


It's hard to get the image out of your head. The questions that arise about the attackers are endless, the answers unsatisfying. Why? How could you take part in this? What makes you think it's acceptable? How could you not care about another human being like this? There is hardly a response that will lessen the anger you feel as an outsider looking in.


And, you should know that as you read this story that came out of the Bay Area in October. On the school grounds of Richmond High School, during a homecoming dance, a 15-year old girl was brutally beaten and raped by 10 young men, while at least 20 people watched and did nothing. As with so many of these gang rapes, the victim went voluntarily to the destination - in this case, an alley near the school - but, what began as hanging out turned quickly to an attack.

The details of the story can be found in the article link above and won't be revisited here, but so many phrases from the article pop out at you: "macho," "bravado," "degradation of women." We've heard these terms associated with boys and young men for far too long. But, they are important to remind us what we're up against in raising young boys to make smart choices in becoming positive young men.

A teacher at Richmond's quotation in the article speaks volumes: "Those boys who did what they did weren't picturing that girl as a human. I think you see these kinds of boys at a lot of high schools - so desensitized it was like they saw her as a toy. Boys like that - there aren't many like them, but they can be so hard. All they needed was something to set them off."

Here's to hoping there really aren't "that many like them."

David, David, David - What Have You Done?

The news broke on October 1, 2009: David Letterman had multiple affairs with female staffers. And, he was being blackmailed for $2 million. Yikes.

The story is not uncommon - man cheating on his wife; employer sleeping with employee; celebrity guilty of, well, something!

The question now becomes, "Is there a lawsuit coming?" We live in America - of course there's a lawsuit coming! A better question is how many or which kinds of lawsuits? It's not yet clear if this is grounds for a sexual harassment suit - either by the women he slept with, or by the other staffers who had to work in this environment. This article from Find Law is a great breakdown on the possible, legal implications of his actions, as well as a differentiation between types of harassment and whether there is a case here (if legal nuances bore you, you may want to skip to the second half of the article).

Even more interesting is the discussion about the working environment at The Late Show, and in the workplace, in general. Nell Scovell, a former writer from The Late Show, wrote a compelling, personal tale in Vanity Fair of what it was like to work for Letterman; what is was like to not be the object of his affection; to know your career would not progress because you were one of his... types. It is clearly hard enough to be a writer in these all-male dominated writing rooms of late night television (Conan, Leno, and Letterman all employ NO female writers), but how much harder must it be when you're juggling sexual politics as well?

So many issues have surfaced because of this story. Hopefully, people will not shy away from discussing appropriate and inappropriate behavior in the workplace. Obviously, some people meet their significant others at their jobs (David Letterman's wife was a production staffer at Late Night when they met). On his last show, Jay Leno introduced us to over 60 kids who had been born to staffers who met while working for the show over the past 17 years. These were staff members... but, shouldn't the boss be held to a higher standard? When your name appears above the building you walk into everyday, don't you set the tone for everything that goes on there? This article in New York Magazine seems to suggest as much where it quotes one former staffer as saying of Dave and his assistants: "They rule by fear. You don’t want to make Dave mad or so-and-so mad, so you better do a good job. Everyone there is scared of their shadow all the time.”

With that type of working environment, how many women who value their jobs are willing to turn an advance away? And, how many more struggle to figure out how they can get in the boss' good graces? It's a complicated situation, no question . . . But, completely avoidable.

Couldn't resist:

The Top Ten Things To Learn From David Letterman's Escapades:

10. Extortion? Not cool.
9. It may never be clear whether these women had relationships with Letterman to advance their careers, because they felt they had to, or just because they wanted to.
8. Hitting on people who work for you is in the least inappropriate, at worst sexual harassment.
7. Not hitting on some, while hitting on others, is sexual favoritism and can create a "hostile work environment."
6. Late-night talk shows have no female writers.
5. This will probably do nothing to Letterman's popularity, but let's hope it fosters change in the business of The Late Show.
4. Blackmail is the least of David Letterman's concerns.
3. The ignorance in the "Comments" section of Letterman-related articles is astounding.
2. Apparently, none of us would understand the reference of a "head cheerleader" without accompanying it with an insult: a former staffer said, "...I think he's also going for easy targets... He's not going to ask the head of the cheerleading team to prom. He's going to ask the head of the band or something." (What did the head of the band do to you?!)
1. Don't cheat on your wife.

Are You Serious?

The opening line catches you right away: "A shocking statistic—teenagers are in more danger from sexual predators at their part time jobs than through the Internet." Seriously?

This piece from PBS (click to view the entire 26-minute segment) reveals a far too underreported trend among teenagers: sexual harassment  in the workplace.

One might wonder why a story like this is on Boy Chat, especially because it chronicles the plights of women in three different businesses.  It's always important to teach employees their rights and to offer victims support services . . . but, how are we addressing the harassers, i.e. (most often) the MEN? Too often, we focus on empowering the victims while neglecting to simultaneously teach the perpetrators to recognize their own inappropriate behaviors.

The line between flirting and harassment is often blurry.  Boys and men alike often need help in identifying when it's been crossed.  But, one practice is pretty safe: Keep your hands to yourself.