e-News is Good News!

Hopefully, you've all received our second e-Newsletter, The Gender Lens. The newsletter was created last Spring in an effort to stay in better contact with the many educators and facilitators connected to our programs. If you click the image below, you will see all of the offerings of The Gender Lens, including tips for facilitators, useful websites, fun facts, and excerpts from our blogs.

As always, the success of our program depends greatly on the wonderful people facilitating it. We'd like to take a moment to say THANK YOU to those educators for all of their hard work and dedication, and to remind you all to keep sending us "stories from the field." Please tell us of any resources you are using, ways you've altered or enhanced lessons, or any thoughts you might wish to share. Our curricula are constantly evolving, and much of that direction is laid out by the feedback we get from you.

If you haven't received our e-newsletter, first check your spam folder! If it's not there, please let us know so we can address the problem: javaid@gp-bp.org. Also, If you are not signed up for our mailing list, please do so here. Thank You!

(Oh, and have you voted for us - The Institute For Labor & The Community - on Facebook? We need you, and have only a week left...)

Toddlers In Tiaras?

Not a problem, until it's your son... Or, is it a problem?

Time Out New York Kids' article profiles three kids - two toddlers and an eight-year old - who prefer to look and dress like their opposite gender. And, for the hip New York moms and dads featured, the parental route to pursue is support vs. confusion. If that's what he wants to wear, if that's what makes him happy, then why fight it?

The article's subtitle is very interesting: "Got a cross-dressing kid? Ease up on the validation, experts say—it may not be what you think." The author's point is that parents of children who like to play cross-dress-up should not rush to judgement in either direction. Historically, parents tried to 'reverse the curse,' fearing that their kids might turn out to be gay, bi, or just confused. But, many modern parents try to go the other route and support - even push - a transgender lifestyle, which according to the article is not guaranteed.

Obviously, there is no one solution. However, the study cited in the article puts the chance at 75% that a child who cross-dresses with eventually identify as homosexual or bisexual. These yearnings and demonstrations by a child may be exactly the identifiers parents are constantly looking for to tell them who their child will eventually be (you know the parents who get excited when their daughter picks up a basketball, or when their son shows an affinity for singing?). At 75%, it's a lot more than a possibility...

The article ends by acknowledging that talking to your child is the most important part of the process. Indeed, these parents may make some mistakes along the way, but as long as their kids know that they are supported, they're on the right path.

Well, If I Can't Marry... You Can't Divorce!

This story has to make you smile. John Marcotte is a 38 year-old married father of two, and he's come up with an eye-opening approach to reversing, or at least bringing awareness to, Proposition 8 in California.

You will recall that Proposition 8 made same-sex marriages illegal in California. You might also recall that the movement to make it so was fueled by various "pro-marriage" groups. Well, Marcotte is calling their bluffs. He wants to add a measure to next year's ballot that would make divorce illegal. (What?! That's just un-American!) Yes, you read correctly.

Marcotte has until March 22, 2010 to acquire over 600,000 signatures from registered voters in California. He is garnering support through his website where t-shirts are for sale to fund the movement. If he reaches that mark, the proposition will be up for vote next year. And, if it passes, it will become illegal to divorce your spouse in California.

You probably won't find many people out there who think this will pass, but you have to love the concept. If you love marriage so much, then you will want to protect it all costs. The divorce rate is over 50%; instead of making it illegal for same-sex couples to get married, why not make it illegal for "traditional" couples to divorce? It is definitely bringing some interesting discussions to the table. And, forcing some to look in the mirror.

Read an interview with Marcotte for more insights...

World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day. It is a day where some stop to think of the many who have died as a result of the syndrome. Others think about the work that has already been done, as well as what works lies ahead. And, still others will give thought to the millions who suffer daily from HIV/AIDS.

It is also an important day to generate financial support and general awareness around the issues. Many companies take part in the (RED) campaign, most visibly the GAP, which donates a portion of all (RED) purchases to The Global Fund, an organization that focuses its efforts in sub-Saharan Africa.

AIDS has ripped through the African continent with a ruthlessness that makes it impossible to ignore. But, while you are giving thought to the plight of Africans struggling to win this battle, please keep in mind that there is an AIDS battle right here in America.

Blacks and Latinos continue to be disproportionately affected by the spread of HIV/AIDS. Drug use is still a factor, but we now know that so much of the blame falls at the feet of men engaging in "high-risk" behavior and bringing home HIV to their unsuspecting wives. There are social, cultural, moral, and educational battles to fight in addressing this epidemic. And, there is no easy solution . . . But, the trends certainly won't be reversed if we think only of it as an African problem.

Chase Giving

If you're a Facebooker, you've undoubtedly seen a ton of activity alerting you that a friend of yours has voted in the "Chase Community Giving Challenge." Now through December 11, charities have a chance to win awards ranging from $25,000-$1 million! Chase is giving away a total of $5 million to 100 worthy charities. So...

PLEASE VOTE FOR US!!

Of course, we thank you for all of your votes and support. Please forward and let your Facebook friends know, too!

And, please note:

1. You must have a Facebook account to vote.

2. Our 501(c)(3) name is The Institute for Labor & The Community, Inc. But, we are still The Girls & Boys Projects, as you've always known us. :)

3. We've heard that some people have encountered some issues with the Chase application - specifically, with whether their vote registered. If you do, please be patient and try to vote again.

We know you want to scroll down and read more entries, but go vote, then come back! Happy Holidays!!

I Was Weight-Listed

Typo? Turns out, it's not... Ever heard of Lincoln University in Oxford, PA? Well, the school is breaking new ground in the arenas of fitness and health. And, upsetting quite a few folks in the process.

In 2006, in an effort to address the obesity epidemic in our country, the university implemented a Do Ask, Don't Swell policy. Every incoming frosh's Body Mass Index (BMI) was measured upon entering. Of the 19% who measured above 30 (the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services threshold for obesity), around 25 now seniors have not lowered their BMI, nor have they taken the required course to demonstrate that they are at least educated about the health risks. The result? They are in jeopardy of not graduating.

The approach is somewhat radical, and definitely controversial. Read the following article's comments section and you will see there is much debate on the legality, as well as the ethics of this policy. Many schools have health requirements - courses that students must take to graduate, but Lincoln seems to be among the first to tie this to obesity and each student's BMI.

The school's heart seems to be in the right place: let's put out educated, but also healthy graduates. While it's a really ugly position for graduating seniors to be facing, maybe the course will help them to really question their health and wellness. Remember, they are not being required to lose weight; just to take a class. And, on the surface, it seems like taking a semester-long course pales in comparison to getting a new perspective on your well-being.

Fun cartoons on obesity and health in this article...

If I Were A Boy…

If you’re an avid sports fan, you think you’ve pretty much seen it all. And, then that happens…

On November 5, 2009, University of New Mexico soccer player Elizabeth Lambert, at best, lost her cool in a game vs. BYU. At worst, she crossed the line between on-field violence and assault. In a video montage that might make Mike Tyson cringe (or smile, not sure), Lambert is seen tugging, pushing, elbowing, punching, kicking, and eventually viciously yanking the ponytail of an opponent on the pitch.This type of incident undoubtedly brings attention from the media and casual fan alike. People not used to seeing how physical contact sports can be are disgusted at what they saw. In particular, many are shocked to see it occur amongst young women.

Most already know that these games are physical. The pushing and elbowing are hardly newsworthy. But, we can probably all agree that the ponytail pull crossed a serious line. Not only could she have seriously injured someone, but it was an ugly cheapshot.

However, there is a place one should take exception in this story. Lambert says, “I definitely feel because I am a female it did bring about a lot more attention than if a male were to do it. It’s more expected for men to go out there and be rough.”

The notion that the story would not warrant such attention if it were men playing - that this type of violence is not a big deal in men’s sports - could not be further from the truth. While many may have been appalled because of the gender of the players involved, let us not forget the type of attention male players receive when their actions extend beyond the unwritten rules of aggressive, but fair play. To avoid turning this into a sports blog, here are some terms you should Google at your own leisure to see if her opinion holds weight:

• Mike Tyson + Evander Holyfield + ear + bite
• J.R. Reid + A.C. Green + teeth
• Rudy Tomjanovich + Kermit Washington + punch
• Jerramy Stevens + Tyler Brayton + knee
• Marty McSorley + Donald Brashear + stick
• Troy Polamalu + hair tackle

The list goes on and on. And, in many of these incidents, fans argued whether criminal charges should have been filed (some were). In certain cases, the violence even led to changes in the laws that govern the sport.

To say men do not receive this type of attention is simply false. If a male player yanked another player’s hair, snapping his neck back while he wasn’t looking? We would have been discussing criminal charges. There is precedence for this type of aggressive act.

Elizabeth Lambert was wrong in her opinion and wrong in her actions. Hopefully, she will continue to try to make it right.

"My Man... Fix Your Skirt."

That probably doesn't sound as strange to the current generation of teens as it would to their parents.

It is safe to assume that as with any school rule, dress codes have been challenged since their inception. Girls have fought over skirt length and makeup, boys over blazers and ties. Even The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air wore his blazer inside out and, occasionally, his ties around his head - pushing the letter of the law without breaking it.

But, "Can A Boy Wear A Skirt To School?" brings light to an entirely new set of challenges and questions regarding dress code, gender identity, sexuality, and safety. And, it is clear from where this article gets its information, this is a widespread discussion (the schools range from Florida to California, Ohio to Texas, and everywhere in between).

What's the main issue, you ask? Wish it were that easy. The issues are complex and large in number: the stifling of identity, a lack of tolerance, protection from harassment, harassment, conformity, discouragement of self-expression, the limiting of classroom disruptions, and the list goes on. How do you address the students who want to cross-dress, and the teacher who says the other kids in the class can't concentrate? Or, the case of Lawrence King - a young boy who had something in him telling him to dress a certain way that didn't fit with the norm. He was happy that way. And, yet there was a classmate who had something in him telling him that a boy who dresses that way . . . doesn't deserve to live?

It's probably safe to say that most parents want the same three things for their child at school: to learn, to be safe, to be happy. The question is... in what order?

Resources For Educators

In addition to fostering discussions, the Boy Talk blog is also your home for educational resources! Actually, it's a when-we-have-something-to-share-we-will situation...

The New York Times Learning Network is a fantastic knowledge base to which every teacher should subscribe. Last month, the site changed formats to a blog with all sorts of features including thousands (yes, thousands!) of free (yes, free!) lesson plans for teachers, quizzes, student opinions, and many more resources. In fact, today there is a very spirited debate on the question: "Should gay couples be allowed to marry?" Be forewarned: On this particular thread, as is to be expected, there is some ignorance in the comments section - but, the issues being addressed and the information being shared is well-worth the read, and may even inspire you to facilitate a similar discussion in your school.

A recent Google search revealed a fantastic resource called Jeopardy Labs. The site allows you to create actual Jeopardy-style games to use with your students! It's amazing how easy the site is to use, and how perfect the interactive template will be in your class (keeps track of team scoring and everything!). The best feature however, is the database. There are hundreds of previously made Jeopardy games (templates) created by other users and available for you to use. So, let's say you want to create a quiz on the topic of weather. Simply search for it through the "Start Browsing" link and use as you see fit! You can even modify the template if you need to change answers or point values, etc. Fantastic resource (and free!!)...

Lastly: HelpGuide.org is a great site filled with information, links, telephone numbers, and thoughts related to issues of grief, stress, addiction, disorders, and the list goes on. Whether you have concerns about people around you, or questions about your own mental or physical health, this site provides many answers and directions on where to find help. Highly recommend browsing their pages...

A First Time For Everything

Every now and then, you read a story and think to yourself, "Seriously, what is wrong with men?" (You do, right?)

Well, if you haven't, this will be the first. The Guardian reports that a Chinese company has been manufacturing artificial "Virginity Hymens." (I'm sorry, did he just say-) Yes, you read correctly.

The goal is obvious: to give her partner the illusion that it is her first time having sex.

The product itself is wrong on almost too many levels to cover here. But, it is the motivation behind its creation that's even more disturbing. For whom was this created? If we were discussing saving women's lives in countries where women are persecuted or murdered for allegedly losing their virginity before marriage, women who may have previously been raped or simply not bled during intercourse, the need for such a product would be saddening, but at least noble in attempt.

Judging from the website's product description, and the fact that it is sold on an adult toys site, protecting women was not the impulse:

No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable. Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use and no allergic reaction.

Is this what some men really need? Are we still so obsessed with virginity that we have to create modern versions of archaic practices to trick men into believing they are sleeping with virgins? And, in truth, it's not just men holding women to these unrealistic, anatomical standards - there are women who thrust equal venom at pre-marital sex. But, of course, if it didn't matter to men so much . . .

It's sad that in 2009 we are reverting to such practices; pathetic that we would even have to.

We can do so much better than this...