Daddy's Home! (Not By Choice)

Have you noticed a rise in stroller-pushing Dads in your neighborhood? And, not just on the weekends? It turns out the economy has relegated many fathers to new professions: Stay-At-Home Dads.

It will be interesting to watch how this trend plays out. Not only are gender roles being challenged - or balanced - in terms of parenting, but there are also the sometimes unspoken dynamics which surround whose is the primary income in the house. In "Dreams From My Father," Barack Obama discusses this dynamic between his grandmother and grandfather and the challenges it created in their household. That was the 60's. We've made great strides since then. More women are in the workforce, earn more money than they used to, and compete for higher positions. But, will both parents be ok with a wife's being the breadwinner? With a husband without a job? With a father being a stay-at-home dad?

We'll have to wait and see. Let's just hope those fathers out there are able to see that the unfortunate position of being out of work does not compare to the fortunate position of raising your child everyday... No matter how exhausting.

Still In My Prime

How does that quotation go about teaching old dogs new tricks?

Well, the folks at the Michael Ann Russell JCC haven't given up hope. Responding to a recent rise in sexually transmitted infections among senior citizens, members of the organization got together and created a claymation, informational video on the dangers of unprotected senior sex:

In a related story, The Girls & Boys Project is developing a senior curriculum for this neglected population... Gotta stay cutting edge!

Bonus: A little humorous coverage of the story courtesy of The Daily Show.

Take a Stand. Lend a Hand.

Stop Bullying Now!

That's the mantra headlining the government's anti-bullying campaign. The website is extremely accessible and kid-friendly (mostly ages 9-13, with information for anyone - including an Educator's Corner and a Family Corner). Kids will be able to relate to the stories and scenarios, which were contributed by the Expert Youth Panel, i.e. other kids. Encourage kids to take the "Do You Bully Others" quiz . . . Examples include:

• You and your friends have regularly kept one or more kids from hanging out or playing with you. 
  
• You've teased people in a mean way, calling them names, making fun of their appearance, or the way they talk or dress or act.
  

Congrats to the HRSA for creating a great resource for kids. Hopefully, kids will take away some tools for dealing with bullying...

I Used To Rule The World

Kudos to the PS22 Chorus - kids and faculty!

In light of vast budget cuts in the music and arts, the voices and faces in this video serve as clear reminders that these programs enrich kids' lives.  Look at the seriousness with which these young singers approach their Coldplay cover.  Note the pride in their faces as they harmonize effortlessly.

Government officials should visit PS22's blog to be reminded of what is lost when these programs are cut . . . Or, they can simply enjoy a respite from the grind of the day.

Let Them Lead The Way

It's hard to imagine what it's like to be a gay or bi-sexual teacher in schools these days. With the language that students use, it's even harder to imagine how one could come out in that environment. That's why Chance Nalley's story is so refreshing.

When Nalley came out to his school in 2007, the reaction was surprise, then surprise:

“I was really surprised,” recalled [a] 13-year old boy. “It didn’t change anything about what we thought about him, though.”

Surprised?

Yes, kids can certainly be mean at times. Honestly, they can be flat out ruthless. But, they can also be the most supportive audience when they're ready. And, they can teach adults a lot about acceptance and openness . . .

(Warning: Happy Ending)

The 32 year-old teacher is going to celebrate his commitment to his partner in a ceremony this April . . . and, is expecting almost 100 of his middle schoolers to be there.

Don't Google Your Name!

It was advice given by a former American Idol contestant to the current cast.  Rihanna may need to take this advice to heart.

The internet reaction to the Rihanna-Chris Brown saga has been alarming . . . and, yet, somewhat predictable. Were Rihanna to read these comments, she might start to believe that this assault was her fault. Young female voices are placing the blame on Rihanna in large numbers - and in no uncertain terms. Yes, they are girls and young women, but they are also fans:

“She probly ran into a door and was too embarrassed so blamed it on chris.” (NYTimes March 18, 2009)

After sitting in on a NYC middle school advisory this week, it is clear that this "siding" [with Chris Brown] is the norm, not the exception. Are we raising a generation of girls that will come to accept violence in relationships as normal? Even worse, are we raising boys who are listening to these girls and thinking, "If they don't have a problem with it..."

The Othello lesson at the end of the article (above) is one approach to addressing this issue. Would love to hear what else is being done out there...

You're My Boy, Blue!

New terms make their way into our lexicon daily.  Some need more explaining than others. In fact, if you have an hour to kill, try explaining "Twitter" to a parent or grandparent... Well, it seems there's a term that has actually been around for quite some time, but is really gaining popularity in recent years - and, definitely has some 'splaining to do: BROMANCE

A bromance or "man-crush" is a close but non-sexual relationship between two men.

Come again?

It turns out that two guys who are really close - watch games together, have a drink, make regular time to hang out - could be involved in a bromance.  "Here's To Bromance" discusses the many nuances of bromances, as well as theories about the term's origins. What's fascinating is that all of the aspects described? Used to be called "best friends."

One is left to wonder how this term will change the way men behave towards each other. Men already have a hard time sharing feelings with other men at the risk of seeming soft, how will they react when others imply that the friendship they have is actually an intimate relationship? It's hard to find anything wrong with these friendships, but will men have the courage to overlook the taunts? To build solid bonds with their boys despite the bromance label?

It's not likely that a similar term will be cast upon women pursuing the same bonds with other women - those are still "BFF" relationships. What's more likely are images like the one seen below. Very funny, but at what cost?

Can't Focus With Her In The Room?

 

Seems that's the case for a lot of boys. And, one school in the Bronx is trying to address it. Not completely going the traditional route of a single-sexed school, PS 140 is attempting to solve some of its performance numbers by separating girls and boys for certain academic classes.  

The thought behind the experiment is simple: "some advocates believe that girls are more likely to participate in class when no boys are present — and that boys, particularly those from low-income families, tend to focus better without girls around." (NYTimes March 10, 2009)

The results? Arguable at best. PS 140 has seen results - especially where behavior is concerned. But, the jury is still out in other schools around the country on this topic.

One point that's hard to dispute, however, is that conversations about social issues? Body changes, bullying, hormones, feelings?? Those conversations are NEVER the same when we're all in the room...

Mayor Bloomberg, I Need A Voucher

Are you a Black boy?

Do you want to graduate from high school?

Move to North Dakota.

It's a well-known mantra among Black Americans, especially older generations: "Black people have to work twice as hard to get half the chance."  The notion behind this sentiment is personified in an eye-opening study conducted by The Schott Foundation, "Given Half a Chance: The Schott 50 State Report on Public Education and Black Males."

The study uncovers glaring statistics and conclusions illustrating just how badly our school systems are failing Black males. Two that stood out most are:

1. North Dakota is the best performing state for Black males.  Upside? An 89% graduation rate.  Downside? Well, let's just say if you're looking to blend in, this may not be the place...

And, 2: Black males do better in White schools.  The report specifies that this is not due to proximity with White students, but rather enrollment in well-resourced schools (dedicated staff, libraries, textbooks and computers, science labs, etc.).

The question then becomes, can this mother really be in jail for sending her kids to a better school district? Maybe she read the report and knows that New York State ranked 45th (and New York City #1) on the "Lowest Performing" scale... Can't blame her for trying to give her kids the other half a chance, can you?

Take A Bow

The one upside to celebrity gossip is when certain issues that normally go undiscussed gain a national spotlight. Be it adoptions from Africa, children with autism, or adults battling addictions we are reminded of many hard realities in our world. Sadly, that is the case with pop stars Rihanna and Chris Brown. Their recent bout with domestic violence surprised many; their reuniting surprised few. But, it allows us the opportunity to highlight a real issue - young people face unhealthy relationships, too.

The statistics are staggering.  Some put the number at 25% of teens and college-aged young adults have experienced physical, emotional, or sexual abuse from their partners, most often boyfriends. The number of those who report knowing someone who has been a victim is much, much higher.

HelpGuide.org is a fantastic resource for warning signs, hotlines, and general information about this alarming trend. The site also has a "Power and Control" graphic on how domestic violence manifests itself:

Although the song discusses infidelity, the lyrics to Rihanna's hit song "Take A Bow" speak volumes:

You look so dumb right now

Standing' outside my house

Trying' to apologize

You're so ugly when you cry

Please, just cut it out

And don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not

Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show

Really had me going

But now it's time to go

Curtain's finally closing

That was quite a show

Very entertaining'

But it's over now (but it's over now)

Go on and take a bow

Wish it were that easy...