Ally Week!

Hey, Everyone! It's been quite some time, but today is the start of Ally Week. GLSEN (the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network) began the initiative in 2005 and the concept has really caught on. With that in mind, here is a perfect example of how an ally can stand-up for someone who appears to be "different."

My Princess Boy is written by a mom whose son wants to dress up like a princess.

But, the story of how quickly his family adjusted - and, then what his school did to support - is the most moving part... Be an ALLY this week!

Dad Life

A friend shared this with us. It has to at least make you smile...

The Girls & Boys Projects recognizes all of the fathers out there! :)

The Gender Lens Returns!

We are very excited to share the latest installment of our e-newsletter, The Gender Lens! If you did not receive an email version, please read here by clicking the image below. This issue will update you on the news at The Girls & Boys Projects, provide find facilitator's tips, links, and other goodies inside.

Once again, we cannot do the work we've set out to do without the efforts of our fantastic facilitators. So, THANK YOU! Please stay in contact and send us stories from the field! Have a great summer...

(If you are not on our mailing list, please sign up!)

Black Woman Walking

This could easily have been posted on our Girl Talk blog... But, it's probably more important for our guys to LISTEN to what these women are saying:

Yes, Coach, Sir! Um, M'am!

We're late on this story, but it is just too good to let it pass. This Spring, Calvin Coolidge Senior High School in Washington D.C. hired a new head varsity football coach. Why is this news? She is a woman!

Natalie Randolph is a former professional football player and a current science teacher at the school. And, the hire is quite a statement. While it is unclear how many women have been head coaches of boys varsity football teams nationally, there is little doubt that the move is extremely significant - some are calling it historic.

Our Girls Project was fortunate enough to work with members of a women's professional football team, the Sharks. The girls were very inspired by the players' stories and resolve. Hopefully, the boys Natalie Randolph coaches will feel the same way... Congratulations to Coach Randolph and, best of luck on the upcoming season!

A Losing Battle

The race against the damaging effects of social networking sites continues to get tougher. Parents, teachers, youth advocates, and policy makers are all banging their heads against the wall about what to do with all of the unregulated, online chatter. The latest site receiving some attention? Formspring.

Through Formspring, users can send anonymous comments and questions for others to answer. Questions can be innocent ("What's your favorite color?"), investigative ("Do you like guys with red hair?"), or even invasive ("What size bra do you wear?"). The comments, however, can be much more sinister. Users, mostly kids, are often sending mean-spirited messages that are sometimes nothing short of cyberbullying.

What is most confounding about the site and process is that each user must accept the comment in order for it to become public and posted to their wall. In other words, if you are seeing a negative comment on someone's wall, it's because he/she posted it there! If your own kids are allowing negative posts about them to be public, how can we fight the damaging blows to their self-esteem?

As with so many issues kids are facing today, there is no one solution to this epidemic. As covered in this article, there are numerous sites that offer people a chance to post anonymously to others' pages (such as Tumblr or Honesty Box, a Facebook add-on). And, trying to regulate these sites or restrict their usage is a losing battle. Kids will find ways to log in, new options will pop up, and parents will be left scratching their heads.

We are not going to win the battle against the internet. What we have to do is continue to arm our kids with the tools to make informed decisions - both about what they read and believe, as well as what they write. Help them understand that the anonymity of the web allows people to hide behind comments they may not even believe as they are typing them. And, we need to build up their confidence so the negative comments don't lead to negative outcomes. Every ugly post doesn't have to hurt so much...

That's the hope, at least...

Run Before You Walk

On Saturday, May 1st, The Girls & Boys Projects directors Jule Jo Ramirez and Javaid Khan conducted a workshop at PS 57 in East Harlem. The event - the first of its kind - was a Young Runners Clinic organized by the New York Road Runners. It integrated the topic of running with healthy eating, puberty, and lifestyle choices.

The boys worked directly with Javaid and set the tone for the workshop right out of the starting gate. During the introductory exercise of telling the group your name and one thing about you no one in the room knows, a young Dominican boy from the Bronx (name changed here) opened with, "My name is Luis. And, my Dad is in prison." His honesty immediately changed the dynamic of a bunch of 12 year-old boys, mostly strangers to one another, in a new setting, talking about an awkward topic: puberty.

The boys had a ton of questions and comments, myths and confusions, and also a lot of information. Together, the group navigated toward correct answers and addressed misinformation. Some of the questions/comments that stood out:

Why do your armpits smell?

• Why do we grow hair in our parts?
• How do you know when a girl likes you?
• How do you make your penis bigger? Because, my friend told me that when you put on a condom, it gets bigger.
• Can you get an erection when you run?
• Can you not go through puberty?

Needless to say, there was a lot of work to do that day... It is great that the Road Runners recognized the importance of giving kids correct information in order to make healthy choices in life!

From The "You Can't Be Serious" Department

Comes this story about a new game kids are playing. The type of game that anyone over the age of 22 has to scratch his head and wonder, "Am I just old? Because this makes no sense..."

The recent death by suffocation of an 11 year-old in Nebraska has brought light to a game kids are playing for the rush they get - a choking game. As quoted in an AOL News piece, "The purpose is when you have restricted oxygen and blood flow to your brain, you get a euphoric rush." Some are trying it solo, others in groups. And, as is clearly evident, kids are dying from it.

In The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell writes about the bizarre epidemic of suicide in Micronesia in the 70's and 80's. He discusses how an idea can become contagious, like a virus. It appears that games like these are having a similar effect.

Every now and then, we learn about something new that kids are trying for the thrill - mixing over the counter medicines, sniffing glue, playing in traffic or on train tracks. But, what parent ever imagines having to have the "Don't choke yourself" talk?

Some ideas (like the one in the picture above) just don't seem to need a discussion. Let's just hope this choking game doesn't 'tip' . . .

Boys Lose!

We've followed the statistics relating to Black males on Boy Talk Online, but Nicholas D. Kristof of The New York Times shows us in his latest opinion piece that the problem is not relegated to Black makes. In "The Boys Have Fallen Behind," Kristof cites statistics from a newly published study that illustrate the chasm forming between girls and boys in education. And, it's not unique to America...

One such statistic gives a clear example of what boys are facing in school:

• Boys are twice as likely to get suspended as girls, and three times as likely to be expelled. Estimates of dropouts vary, but it seems that about one-quarter more boys drop out than girls.

It seems like now is the right time to accelerate the dialogue on what boys need from school that they are not getting. We've always known there were differences between boys and girls, but have we made adjustments to our educational systems? It may be time to start...


Note: The piece also introduces us to the site: guysread.com - a website devoted to generating book options for boys. At a recent panel discussion, an exasperated mother asked of the panel, "How do I get my son to read?" This site is a great starting point...

Is It Really That Simple?

It appears the video has been made private. If it opens up again, we'll repost!

Yeah, probably... Too pure to not share.

An Uphill Battle

On Tuesday, March 2 Teach For America hosted a panel discussion entitled, "Men of Color & Education: A Discussion on the Pursuit of Excellence." The conversation was centered around Black and Latino boys and the challenges they face in our school system. The star-studded panel included rapper Common, singer John Legend, former NBA player Eric Snow, Bronx Borough President Rueben Diaz, Jr., and professors Dr. Pedro Noguera and Dr. Marc Lamont Hill. The event was moderated by David C. Banks, founder and president of the Eagle Academy Foundation.

      

Each panelist brought something different to the table. Whether it was his experience as a teacher, father, mentor, researcher, musician, etc. each voice was unique. Dr. Noguera, Dr. Hill, and Mr. Diaz offered a number of eye-opening statistics including:

• Stuyvesant High School (one of the city's specialized high schools) accepted SIX Black boys this year.
• At Bronx High School of Science, only 5% of its students are actually from the Bronx.
• Last year, more money was spent on surveillance equipment for schools than for similar equipment in prisons.
• Indicators among 3rd and 4th grade Black and Latino boys (dropouts, suspensions, expulsions, failings) can forecast for state officials just how many prison spaces they will need when these boys are of age.

There were many more statistics and opinions offered, but these were particularly glaring. So, the question remained: What do we do? And, the answers came in many forms, offering different perspectives and solutions. We heard about eliminating failing schools, having one great teacher in every room, adding mentors, psychologists and social workers, scrapping No Child Left Behind as a failed program and starting over, holding our representatives responsible, increase parent involvement, and the list goes on.

These concepts have been debated - and, will continue to be debated - for quite some time. But, it was really moving to hear not only the pros and cons of making these changes, but also the passion with which these men wanted to see that change through. Some spoke more of institutional or systematic changes in government, others debated the efficacy of charter schools vs. public, and others spoke about the need to rejuvenate "the village" and love our kids better.

What was most clear is that there is no one answer. The problem needs to be addressed from all angles. Better teachers. Better schools. Better curriculum. Better policies. Question what privatizing prisons - i.e. making prisons profitable - means to those groups disproportionately populating them. Question why certain new schools are able to take kids from the same pool and make them succeed. Question everything... but, DO something.


Overall, the panel was a great success. If done in the future, they might wish to reduce the size of the panel as some voices overshadowed others, but there isn't too much else to change. And, definitely bring Mr. Banks back as moderator... Kudos to Jemina Bernard and all of the TFA team that made the event possible!

Highlight: During the audience open-mic portion, a 5th grader from Brooklyn stepped up to the mic and asked the panel, "We've been to the assemblies and heard all of the talks, but I still get bullied. How do we stop bullying in our schools?" (He received a huge applause for being the only audience member to be able to succinctly ask a question!) We've reached out to his principal immediately...

A Japanese Heart

As a sports fan, the hopeful outcome of this story about Scott Fujita is to effect change - not just in the world, in general, but more immediately in the world of sports.

Scott Fujita is a linebacker for the New Orleans Saints of the NFL and will be playing in the Super Bowl this weekend. His life story is compelling, but it is his decision to take a public stance on a divisive social/political topic that has brought him to us today. Fujita is showing his full support for gay rights - specifically, gay marriage.

That an athlete has chosen to take a stance on a controversial topic is not huge news. That he is a professional athlete is. Many of our most famous athletes are constantly criticized for not taking political stances. Their fear is that they will lose support among fans, and more importantly, endorsement money. When approached to endorse a Democratic candidate, Michael Jordan famously declined by saying, "Republicans buy sneakers, too." LeBron James was brought to task when he hesitated to lend his name to a petition against genocide in Darfur. And, legendary NFL running back Jim Brown has been known to speak out on today's athlete and their lack of activism - most recently challenging Tiger Woods.

Scott Fujita doesn't see this decision as courageous. In fact, he doesn't seem to see it as much of a decision at all - just the right thing to do. But, standing alone when others are afraid to join you is indeed courageous.

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar."

- Raymond Lindquist

Let's hope more professional athletes have the courage to let go of what has been familiar for far too long.

What Is That SMELL?!

Grooming has become somewhat of a necessity in young boys - and, no, we can't blame this on the cast of Jersey Shore...

In "Masculinity in a Can," The Times depicts this trend as growing at an alarming rate - not among teens, but among preteens. Boys 10 and 12 years old are spending their (and their parents') money on deodorant, body sprays, and hair care products. And, the biggest product winners appear to be TAG and AXE, whose edgy marketing ads are aimed at the highly sought-after 18-24 demographic. But, in trying to keep up with the trendy older boys, the article asserts, pre-teenage boys have caught on.

The trend seems to be a result of a perfect storm of factors:

• Boys' bodies are changing at that age. With hormones raging and odors emanating, it's when they begin to use deodorant, in general.
• Girls of the same age are maturing at a faster rate. They are influencing the boys of the same age to take matters into their own hands, which means styling your hair and refining your overall presentation.
• Marketing campaigns are being targeted in different arenas, such as video games and youtube, which will invariably reach younger and younger audiences.
• And, it's the perfect age to catch these boys. Between the ages of 10-14, boys are trying to establish their identities. They become conscious of their appearance, their smell, their social group. Given the notion that a small change like applying body spray can dictate how cool or desirable you will be makes the answer simple - get me some product!

The short answer is, of course, peer pressure. Whether it is from older boys, boys of the same age, or girls the influence of the peer group is still the strongest motivating factor. This much has not really changed over the years, except that the message is coming in stronger and faster than ever. A market consultant is quoted in the piece as saying, "The peer pressure is starting from the girls, who are discussing how much someone smells or what they look like, and it’s being recorded in real time by e-mail and texting."

Can you imagine being 11 and having an off day in the body odor department? Except, by the time you leave homeroom, every kid in your grade with a cell phone has gotten an alert that you stink today? It's not hard to see why these companies are making a killing...

(Didn't really need this ad . . . but can you believe that's LL Cool J??)

Would've Written This Sooner

But, had to reply to a few hundred text messages...

This scenario is probably not as far-fetched as it might sound. In fact, it's probably what teachers and parents are hearing from kids failing to do their schoolwork (or rather not hearing - who's going to admit the real reason?). The Kaiser Family Foundation has a study to prove it.

We've known for quite a while that kids are spending more and more time with their digital media - laptops, pda's, cell phones. What we didn't know was how much time. The results are startling to say the least: seven and a half hours a day! And, even that is not an accurate calculation as kids are multitasking and therefore combining about eleven hours of media usage into that time. It's scary...

But, what's even more surprising on the surface is that not all of these kids are happy doing it. One would assume that keeping in touch with friends or the latest song would provide hours of happiness. But, as reported in this NYTimes' article, "The heaviest media users were also more likely than the lightest users to report that they were bored or sad, or that they got into trouble, did not get along well with their parents and were not happy at school."

It is only surprising on the surface, because when you stop to think about it, it makes a lot of sense. In fact, it's what the older generations have been worried about. All of the concern for the lack of outdoor time or the loss of human contact, the physical pains from playing video games or the emotional tolls of constantly needing to be "up-to-speed" with all that is happening in the world are not just old folks who don't understand. These voices should serve to remind us that these devices and ways of communicating should never become our way of life, just add to it.

These technologies have become so intertwined in our lives, it's hard to see life without them. But, it's important to take a break from anything that is consuming our days to reconnect with people or just to reflect. And, technology is no different.

How Can I Help?

Natural disasters of any kind with human casualties always lead to heart-wrenching stories. The earthquake in Haiti is no exception. Whether it is the sheer number of displaced, injured, or deceased, the schools and orphanages destroyed, the volunteers working tirelessly to save lives, or any other story to come out of this catastrophic event, you would have to be heartless to not be moved in some way.

People everywhere are wondering what they can do to help. Some want to donate money to the "right" charity, others want to donate items, some wish to volunteer there or in places like Miami receiving Haitians being flown out of the country, and still others are coming up with creative ways to keep the situation in their hearts and minds without getting overwhelmed by the media coverage. How is your school covering Haiti and the earthquake? We would love to know and pass on ideas to other teachers...

As for donating to disaster relief efforts, please visit Charity Navigator if you are trying to figure out where best to send your donations. You can review and follow the charities of your choice, and as you can imagine, there is a wealth of knowledge regarding this most recent tragedy.

Public Action has always been a central theme to The Girls & Boys Projects. Thanks to all of you who instill this message in your students and those around you. Stay involved...

*Note: These images were taken from The NY Times' site. They have posted some fantastic multimedia online...

Forgive The Tardiness

But, we thought this story is too important to go unnoticed by us. The Obama administration recently appointed Amanda Simpson to the role of technical advisor to The Department of Commerce. Why is this significant? She is the first openly transgender appointment from The White House.

In an article from Sphere, Mara Keisling, executive director for the National Center for Transgender Equality, is quoted as saying: "What's significant about it is that we finally have an administration in which being transgender isn't a disqualifying factor for a job." That's a reassuring thought. So many hires are questioned for potentially only filling an affirmative action need. This does not appear to be such an appointment, and furthermore, could lessen the misunderstandings or fears potential employers might have in making a similar hire.

Simpson understands the importance of her role: "...as one of the first transgender presidential appointees to the federal government, I hope that I will soon be one of hundreds, and that this appointment opens future opportunities for many others." Hear hear!

You Be The Judge

Humorous? Racist? Just good fun? Hard to say...

The line between when to laugh at ourselves and when to be offended is sometimes unclear and often inconsistent. Either way, it's hard to be mad at those who find this funny... But, it's also ok to hope they understand the damaging effects stereotypes can have...

Making Their Voices Heard

We thought it would be a good idea to post this video today. It is entitled "Voices" and was first aired publicly at our benefit dinner in 2008. We can talk about the benefit of our programs to no end, but it sometimes just makes more sense to hear it from those who are most directly affected by them: your students.

The video always reminds us of why we do the work we do. Hopefully, it will do the same for you. Enjoy!

Happy New Year, Unhappy New York!

Huh?

You may have seen the CDC's study on overall happiness in every state in America. The study, started in 1984, collected data surrounding individual health and satisfaction with life. The results were recently released... Guess where New York ranked?

Yep, dead last. (Did they interview Knicks fans, or something?)

How could you not love the city that never sleeps?! Except, of course, if you are looking for a city that sleeps... The Top 10 states on the happiness scale: 1. Louisiana, 2. Hawaii, 3. Florida, 4. Tennessee, 5. Arizona, 6. Mississippi, 7. Montana, 8. South Carolina, 9. Alabama and 10. Maine. Bottom 3? 49. New Jersey, 50. Connecticut and 51. New York (D.C. was included in the study). For the complete list, click here.

Regardless of where you are, The Girls & Boys Projects hopes you find happiness in 2010! And, we should note... We LOVE being in New York!